So this is it, my first post in my first blog ever; and only after years of telling myself, "Yeah, I'm gonna make one of those." This recent wave of "I think I'll start a blog today..." lasted about two weeks, not a record for procrastination by any means, but here it finally is. The process began, as it almost has once or twice before, by sitting in front of my computer trying to overcome the mental anguish that is picking a cool and catchy title, the perfect font, the most eye pleasing layout, bells and whistles, and which Jing Tinglers, Flu Floopers, Who Hoovers and Blum Bloopers to use. Then I saw the pattern starting over and I almost frustrated myself out of the whole thing...again. Reminding myself this isn't supposed to be that hard, and before I got too obsessive with the little details, I decided to start writing before "I'll do it tomorrow" became the new title of some dream blog I write in my head while driving to work every day. Reluctantly, I dragged my mouse up to the new post button, pushing back the feelings of "what if it's not exactly, perfectly, to a T" anxiety that began to subtly form in the back of my head (side note: I've read and re read this paragraph fifty goddamn times, from here on out I'm just going to type and not look back) and clicked.
I arrive at the writing screen thinking I'm finally going to start this thing and get sucker punched by one final question to throw off my blog writing zen: "Title of Post". UUURRRGGGHHHHH, ok, fine, title of post.
Well, it's my first post, so lets start off with a clever intro title, something to get people interested, welcome them in a creative way. And the words "And So It Begins..." manifest themselves in the type box and I'm thinking I'm a freaking genius. At this point I decide I have earned myself a cup of coffee and get up to go get myself one. From the time I stood to the time I sat back down to to begin (a grand total of about two minutes) I had developed a severe bruise from kicking myself in the ass. "And So It Begins..."? Really Steve, that's your clever title? Like every hipster, melodramatic asshole to ever write a blog didn't begin with something like that thinking they were oozing with originality and setting themselves up for the blog of the year award (my sincerest apologies if I just lumped you into such a category unjustly). Stop it, you're better than that I tell myself, but now I gotta think of another title; or do I? Some quotation marks and a self pat on the back later the title that resides atop this master work is born; full of cleverness and wit and awesomeness. At least I think so, but please feel free to shoot me down in the comments section...if there is one...I really did minimal research about this blog thing. I just know this site is free and wont spam the shit out of my inbox.
Now, what else? I got my feet wet, I'm gonna ease myself into the water I guess. No need to ramble just to fill space. That's the great thing about blogs, isn't it? There are virtually no constraints or expectations on what has to be entered into the void. You can write what you want, when you want, how you want. No grades, no requirements, and best of all no pressure. I don't have to try to impress anyone or prove anyone's point, I can write what I'm thinking and if no one reads it, whoopty doo I still got to do it, and being an English major I feel like I just got out of prison. A dark prison where life sentences equal never ending bibliographies that no one ever looks at, and your not even really sure how to use because MLA keeps changing the fucking format for some unknown reason. Where getting assigned a 30 page research paper is like dropping the soap and your expected to pick it up with a smile. Sure, prisons might have overall better food and living conditions than most dormitories, but I digress, and I think you get my point. I'm outta creative Shawshank, wooooooo!!!
So to wrap up my first, aptly titled *pats self on back...twice this time*, blog post I just want to say I hope you at least enjoy reading the things I have to write. For those of you who know me, you know the things that can come out of my mouth can be potentially cringe inducing and, in the very least, politically incorrect, but I'll try and keep it as contained as possible for as long as possible (notice I kept it PG-13 and only said fuck once, er...twice). For those of you who found your way here randomly, I guess I hope you enjoyed yourself...? Either way the flood gates are open and I'm gonna do my best to keep up with this thing and post a few times a week.
And look at that, my first post is done and the font style and layout didn't make a difference, the world didn't end. This is almost like therapy, this is great and it came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags! Sorry about that I just wanted to finish up in an English major-y way of coming full circle with things by finishing off with another part of an earlier reference I used. I don't really know if it worked I just hope it made sense I guess. But hey, I'm not getting graded and it makes sense to me, kinda. And oh what the hell, just because I can, here's my bibliography:
Me, Myself, and I. My head because I'm a grown ass man.
1st. Wherever the hell I push post entry: My laptop,
2013. Print.
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