Well for starters we spent a grand total of 79 hours in the car, traveling almost 5,000 miles and passing through about 10 states. Spent $650 on gas between 2 people and killed about a million-million and a half bugs with the front end of my car. And some of those bastards were big; every once in a while it was like my windshield was shot with a paintball gun. These things would explode into all sorts of colors and pieces would trail up the windshield until they flew off the car. My car packed on about 10 pounds of insect guts over the trip. Enough about bugs, lets get to the fun stuff.
DAY 1
Other than the quick entry I did on my tablet prior to this one Day 1 was full of driving, getting gas, sleeping for twenty minute intervals, more driving, eating greasy shit food, using disgusting rat infested bathrooms, coffee, and we listened to the Howard Stern show for most of the trip because laughing our asses off helped keep us awake driving through about a thousand miles of straight roads and fields, and fields, and fucking fields. Once we got past Chicago and the Amish flash mob, that's what we go to look at until we crossed into Colorado.
Colorado is two hours behind us here in New York, and we pulled into Denver at 11:30 Mountain time (1:30 Eastern time for any one too lazy to do math). We had driven the first length straight and we left at 5:00 Friday night and arriving 11:30 Saturday night, all math included we drove for about 32 hours. So we looked and felt like shit. We pull into the hotel that we called ahead and reserved when we got to the end of Nebraska and first thing I see is some skinny little shit in khaki shorts and a windbreaker screaming at the desk lady because he wanted to park in front and a car took up 2 spaces and he paid and blah blah blah. He was gonna call the cops, because that's what cops want to deal with; some screaming entitled little whiny shit who's mad he had to park behind the hotel instead of in front. Fuck that guy. The woman said she'll take care of it and he stomped out into the parking lot, in the words of Rose Dewitt Bukater from Titanic, "wait for an absolution that would never come." Because that clerk looked at me, I said "Asshole", she laughed and checked me in with a smile. We parked our car and walked our bags in from the back of the hotel, where there were plenty of spaces, past the whiney bitchy creep kid still standing with his arms folded near the car parked in two spots. I hope he found some justice...or got his ass kicked by someone.
We were both shot from the drive and not sleeping, so of course we changed and found the nearest bar and walked there. It was the first of many breweries we would experience that week. Being on no sleep and at such a high elevation we didn't figure that the two beers and two shots we would have would fuck us up so quick...but it did. We ended up making our way back to the hotel after about an hour at the bar of talking to people and finding out what to do in Denver. We got some good tips and places to check out and slept like fucking rocks. The adventure was taking some serious form, and it finally hit us we were in Colorado!
Just crossed the border into Colorado and filled up. Notice the bugs the size of bats.
